It has been quite overwhelming to me that out of the fifty or so women I see each week in the Made to Crave classes, the search for significance in some form or another is the number two reason why women are in this study. The need for praise, the tendency to control, to get angry or fearful, or the desire to be and look good are all indicators that we are looking for something we think we lack. If we look closely, we will see that the focus at these times is either ourselves or our reactions to someone or something else.
I was reminded sharply of my own need this past weekend. I have been sharing this story with my classes over the past week:
Last weekend my husband and I had some company over, and the young man and my husband knew quite a few people in common. Because of this, their conversation was rapid and quite exclusive. A few times I interjected to add some pearl of wisdom. On at least four separate occasions my husband interrupted or corrected me. It stung. It hurt. Mostly it stung and hurt because we had talked about this very thing before…
My husband happens to be a very tall man, 6’3” to be exact. I only measure in at 5’1”. Most of the time when we are standing in a circle of friends talking, he can make just a minor pivot of 30 degrees or so and unintentionally cut me out of conversation. I have a great view of his elbow, and not much else. He can also be an intense conversationalist at times, which makes me rather rude if I stand there tapping on his elbow. It looks suspiciously like I just need to gain his attention, or that I’m ready to go home. Sometimes this makes me quite ready to go home.
The Lord and I have talked about this. What bothers me about being interrupted, cut off, or cut out? Obviously, I feel insignificant when that happens. Invisible. Even though I am aware that God knows even the number of hairs on my head…I feel invisible. When I feel invisible, it can become very easy to engage in actions that I feel no one would notice anyway… a sweet treat, a game (or ten) of Yahtzee on my Kindle when I should be studying, sitting too long in front of the television. . .who really cares about these things except me?
God does. He cares about my motives and what drives me to choose something that will comfort me or allow me to escape my current situation that doesn’t involve Him. I am thankful for that, and for a God who loves me far beyond what any earthly being could. I pray that I will learn to depend upon Him more and more as each day passes.
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! [1 John 3:1]
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